It's been a year since we first met each other.
365 days.
And yet it feels,
Like it was yesterday.
Do you still remember?
A year ago,
In that room full of freshmen,
We were one of them.
How naïve,
How,
Impressionable.
A year on,
How much we've changed.
How much have happened.
How much have come to pass.
Yet,
This week,
Will also be the last time,
That we wear the name of UCFF0907.
After this,
Life will steer us astray,
To each their own fate.
But neither distance nor time,
Could break the bonds we share.
Dedicated to each and everyone of us,
Aspirants of UCFF0907,
May fortune smile on you,
And swift winds accompany your journey,
Wherever that leads you.
Three cheers,
Towards the uncertain future.
A lot is going on up there in that head of mine. Blame tumblr. Blame the time.
It's been, a while. I haven't had my head in such disarray since who knows when.
Truth be told, I am very self-conscious. I am conscious of how I think, how I feel, how I act.
I try to restrain and control my actions. Emotionally, physically, mentally.
I always feel a need to act appropriately. I was brought up that way.
It was never easy. I was expected to be perfect. I need to be perfect.
But I lack finesse, in all regards. And because of that, I was often yelled at.
Public humiliation aside, the worst feeling you can ever get, was that you failed someone,
You failed yourself.
So you can see why I've never had a lot of self- esteem.
I don't know when, but I started putting up walls.
Everything belongs somewhere. But there is no in-between for me. I don't see gray, only black and white.
Maybe I refused to see that. Maybe because it's simply easier to deal with things that way. I was in denial.
I knew. But I denied. I didn't try to change. It made me a mess.
Why am I writing this?
I don't know.
-
Or maybe I'm trying to justify why I'm so fucked up.
I've gotten sickly,
A disease called lethargy.
Shoot me down,
Before it spreads around.
What if….?
Choices, possibilities, probabilities.
These are infinite.
But what shapes the reality we live in,
Are the choices that we make,
The possibilities that we see,
And the probabilities that we expect.
Before the choice is made,
It is still relevant,
It is still existent.
But "What if" ceased to exist once the decision is set.
And we have to abide by the route that we have chosen,
Till the next choice comes along.
Regret never took anyone anywhere.
But,
What if….?
Sometimes,
It's the littlest things that matters.
Like a smile.
= ]
每个人生,
一个旅程.
在这旅程中,
会遇到各种各样的人.
每一个人,
有的,
或许能陪你走一生.
有的,
或许只是擦肩而过.
肯定的是,
每个人必定会在心中留下痕迹.
人,
或许不在了,
可是心,
依然在.
-
你,妳,你们,他们,
在我心中都占有自己独自的地位.
如果你还是怀疑着,
你不是过路人.
小小的我,
只想看见,
你那大大的笑容. = ]
哈哈哈,
原来我的包容心,
还是这么的窄小.
我尝试着,
去学会如何包容他人的全部.
可是,
很矛盾得,
我还没学会如何包容我自己.
哈哈哈哈哈哈.
傻瓜的愚蠢,
真的好无限度.
-
想要的,和反映的,怎么会那么大的差距???
One.
I am undeserving.
Two.
I am unworthy.
Three.
I am unsuited.
Four.
But love never fails.
Do you know what the worst feeling of all is?
Seeing someone who needs help or concern,
And NOT BEING ABLE TO BE THERE BY THEIR SIDE,
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T/COULDN'T.
So,
Worthless.
I am way behind schedule now.
T-minus 6+ hours till presentation.
Give me strength to overcome this!
我想达到无我的境界.
毫无顾虑的奋斗,
直到身体完全崩溃为止.
可以吗?